Lies and the lying liars who tell them

They continue to accuse me (Me!) of lying about my past crimes.  I'm still not talking.  They've resorted to hooking me up to a lie detector and they continuously monitor my pulse,  respiratory rate,  and blood oxygen levels.  They even take my blood pressure!

Little do they realize what a cool customer I am.  I spend all day lying....

...in my crib.  For those interested in counting wires,  I've got monitors for an EKG (green trace above),  two for respiratory rate (white trace - a sensor I can fool all the time just by stretching), blood oxygen saturation (pink trace) and a temperature sensor.  The only wires doing anything are one small feeding tube in my mouth, one old-man oxygen tube in my nose, and one awesome IV for extra nutrients.    My favorite accessory is the glowing red oxygen sensor strapped to my foot. 

My training regimen is proceeding well - my daily Kangaroo sessions with mom and dad are working.  My feeding has increased to 13 ml and I'm starting to put some weight on - I gained 45 grams yesterday and I'm tipping the scales at 1660 grams!