Parole board

I had my first meeting before the Parole Board today. I am cautiously optimistic. The Board reviews all sorts of information about my stay -- how often I talk back to the wardens, how often I fight with the other inmates, prior escape attempts, and how much I eat -- to determine whether I can be paroled early or have to serve out my full term. In preparation for the hearing, I've been treating the wardens very well and I've stopped boxing in the yard. I've even cut back on the escape attempts. But, it turns out all the board cared about was how much I eat!  

They initial terms of my release are as follows: I have to eat 4 bottles of milk a day (2 bottles per shift) to go along with 4 gavage feedings. If that goes well, they'll hold another hearing on Sunday and possibly bump me up to the next challenge round -- 6 bottles of milk and only 2 gavage feedings.

Since the Board only seems to care about my eating habits, I've gone back to boxing and sassing. I've got a new one: I only eat out of the bottle from Dad. It drives the guards nuts! With Dad, I drank 45 ml in about 15 minutes - personal best times. With the guards, I throttle myself to 27 ml in 27 minutes. Three times slower. I think it keeps them on their toes. Just to give you a visual as to how uncooperative I can be with them:

Talk to the hand, lady, 'cause the face ain't listening

My other big news -- I'm officially a five-pounder.