Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Crazy House

I trust you weren't worried by my extended absence. After all, its been two days since I last posted -- my longest gap yet.  

Maybe you should have worried! These people are crazy! Let me list the ways: 


  1. Dad won't leave me alone in the room and he just stares at me from the rocking chair. How he can look at this view all morning, I'll never know...
  2. Mom can't stop moving furniture into "a nursery," even though my gilded cage has books, windows, a TV, 2 stereos and its own changing table.
  3. Whenever I start fussing because a "movement" is coming, someone swoops me up and starts comforting me.Think about that for a minute. Imagine peacefully enjoying your time in the rest room, when suddenly someone 27 feet tall swoops down, picks you up, puts you on his/her chest, and starts patting you until you fall asleep. Not funny. All I want to do is poop.
  4. They take me on rides in "a car" to visit a person called "a pediatrician" who takes all the measurements my nurses in the NICU did at my bedside.  Why can't they do it themselves? For those interested, in the 3 days since my discharge, I went from 5 lbs 9 ounces to 5 lbs 13.  Next stop, 6 lbs... 
  5. They let me eat as much as I want, whenever I want it. At the NICU they gave me 45 ml on the dot - no more no less. Here, I'm already eating twice that! 
This one takes the cake: they clean me in an actual bathtub, wearing robes. I feel (and look) like a Roman God. Here's my first ever shampoo:

The robes get warmed by the water so it keeps me super warm. I got so warm I had a nice big yawn mid-process:

Believe it or not, that's a sign of extreme comfort. I love the bath. Last and best of all, Mom dries me off:


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