Not an Angel

Some people see pictures like these:

and call me the "cutest little Angel." Admittedly, most of these people are grandparents so their comments should be take with a grain of salt. Problems with theology aside, this post will thoroughly debunk any claims to Angel-hood. In fact, I'm going to show you graphically and in great detail why I am definitely no angel.

Part of growing up in this Crazy House is the 'rents obsessive taking of data. For instance, they record every feeding I have and every diaper I make. They "learned it by watching the NICU." So they can make a graph of the time I eat and the amount I eat, like this: 

You can click on the chart to make it larger. What you see in the top panel is that I've been eating between 30 and 100 ml of milk each feeding period. Hints of my earthly nature are evident already -- someone has to feed me every 3 hours.  The bottom panel is the integral of the top panel; it's the total amount I've eaten since coming home exactly one week ago. 

Here's where the truly devilish side of my nature comes out: milk weighs 1.03 grams per milliliter. So I've drunk 4.7 kilograms = 10 pounds of milk since coming home. Do I look like a 15 pound baby to you? The Mayo clinic website says I gain about 1 ounce = 28 grams per day, max. That means I've found another home for 4.5 kilograms of milk. Guess where I've put it....

Let's just say I've chosen my colors carefully. And this graph proves -- definitively -- that I'm no Angel. 

If you need further proof, please note that this post is made at the end of the day, not the beginning...